Bad Cook, Worse Hat, and Worst of All, the Worst Whistler in the World!

So the guy in the kitchen here kinda sucks. Everything that comes outa there when he's around is a pile of grease. A burger from him kinda looks like this. Only without the onion ring, since they never really figured out how to fry things here. The fries used to come out as these soggy disgusting things, since they never realized you need to blanch them first. Anyway, so this guy wears a hat that looks like this:

Anyway, so he keeps on whistling. And not any particular tune. Just random notes that are flat, sharp, all over the place. And loudly. He's way back in the kitchen and I can hear him way out in the front of the place. Damn it. Makes me wish for the days of Magnum PI jazz.