Thursday, October 16, 2008

Bad Cook, Worse Hat, and Worst of All, the Worst Whistler in the World!


So the guy in the kitchen here kinda sucks. Everything that comes outa there when he's around is a pile of grease. A burger from him kinda looks like this. Only without the onion ring, since they never really figured out how to fry things here. The fries used to come out as these soggy disgusting things, since they never realized you need to blanch them first. Anyway, so this guy wears a hat that looks like this:

Anyway, so he keeps on whistling. And not any particular tune. Just random notes that are flat, sharp, all over the place. And loudly. He's way back in the kitchen and I can hear him way out in the front of the place. Damn it. Makes me wish for the days of Magnum PI jazz.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Leave it to a man.

We here at CSF.com aren't immune to cheapness, stupidity, or fuckery for that matter. Indeed, my partner in blog found it necessary, once again, to take my hilarious idea and post it as his own. To make it worse, he couldn't even remember Tom Selleck's name. What a CSF. One can hardly blame him, my god I'm funny. However, I'm not one. So I will blame him.

That said, someone needs to let you fine readers in on the joke. Just what is Cheap, Stupid Fuck? (Oh, what's that, posttot forgot to use the comma, alas.) The best way to explain is through example. You know how you come up with an awesome idea and someone tries to pass it off as...okay I'm over it. How about this one: you are attempting to grade papers while the woman behind you organizes the next three weeks of her life via cell phone. Get a fucking office! Or, better yet, the couple that decides to "privately" discuss their love life while sitting a mere 10 inches away from you. Basically, a CSF is any pain in the ass that crosses your way. And if you are anything like posttot and me, you run into these folks everywhere you go. But, since you're not like us, you didn't decide to blog about these adventures such as we have. Too bad. You'll really be crying in your beer once the ad monies come in. Oh yes you will.

On a closing note, I have a project to test your merits as blog readers: Tell us where the original idea for CSF came from. Bonus points if you can provide specific details as to what we were wearing and how long we laughed for. Good luck!

Cheap Stupid Fuck First Post


Today's cheap stupid fuck is whoever put the Magnum P.I. jazz on at the coffee shop. Here I am in Lansing, just trying to do so some work, and whuddya know, I feel like I'm following Tom Selleck into someone's house as he snoops for clues. LOOK OUT MAGNUM! That guy behind you has a crowbar!